Monday, May 14, 2007


Another competition for my daughter. On Mother's Day, of all days. R and I left town on Saturday...we were supposed to leave at around 11:30 am. But, we didn't get out of town until about 1 pm. I never leave town when I plan. Anyway. We went to the lovely city of Reno, The Biggest Little City or something like that. I think I don't like Reno. In fact, I know I don't like Reno. It is an ugly little town, and it makes me feel dirty. I don't like it. We walked down Virginia Street and I was nervous the whole time. Let's just suffice it to say, I don't have the desire to live in Reno. R competed in the Sierra Grand Resort. It's a nice casino/hotel. They are rennovating it, so it was kind of hard to get to where we needed to be. But, the area we had to compete in was great. R got a 2nd in her hard jig, which moved her up to Prizewinner. She is now Prizewinner across the board, and still striving for that darn 1st in a hard shoe. Irish dance competitions (feis) are confusing at best.
R and I got home at about 6 pm Mother's Day. I drove home feeling like my head was going to explode out of my ears! I woke up Sunday with the beginning of a sinus infection. Elevation isn't good for clogged ears, in case you didn't know. I was miserable! When we got home I was completely exhausted! My One Tru Love wanted to take us all out to dinner, so I showered, took some Tylenol, and loaded the family up for a Kalico Kitchen dinner. We had a nice dinner. The kids were good. We got home at about 8:20, and the last time I was aware of the time it was 8:36. I had to sleep.
Today continues the countdown to the end of the school year...17 more days!
My One Tru Love leaves for Las Vegas Wednesday, he should be back late Friday night. That is definitely going to make this week go fast!

Monday, May 7, 2007


What a busy, fun weekend we had. My baby M is 7 years old, as of Friday, May 4. I can't believe he's that old. I can't believe I am through having babies.
Last week was Teacher/Staff Appreciation at our school. We had such a spoiled week. We got breakfast one morning, and flowers, and goodies, and Jamba Juice, and massages and a wonderful luncheon on Friday. What a nice week. (Which reminds me I need to write a Thank you note or two!). Friday, as previously mentioned, was my youngest child's birthday. He wanted a party, but, with the luncheon and another surprise party to go to that evening, we had to postpone it. Which is fine, because it gives me two more weeks to procrastinate.
Saturday, my daughter was in the local spring parade. Which she didn't want to walk in. She complained and whined and fussed about it the whole time. She looked great out there. And, I got to see two girls from our school who are Native American, dance. I loved it. And they were so excited to dance for me.
Let's see, Cinco de Mayo! We went to a friend's bar to watch a local band perform, and that was fun. My One Tru Love wasn't feeling well, so I took him home early, and then I went back and I had a blast! It was fun, and I didn't get home until 1 am. OH, did I mention I forgot my house key? 1 am and I am opening the window trying to wake up the boys (who were having a sleepover) in the living room. It brought back those high school days memories.
Then, Sunday, Spiderman 3!!!! I loved that movie. It was fun. I took the boys and R.
Now, we're getting ready for the next relaxing (NOT) weekend. R is competing in Reno. We're leaving Saturday late morning for that and won't be back until late Sunday night. I am a little disappointed that I won't be seeing my boys on Mother's Day. I'll be with my daughter and my mom, just not my boys.
But, overall, even with all of the running around, I had a great weekend. I spent it with my kids, and I guess that is what makes it great.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Something's Bugging Me

I read tracey's blog (since I don't know how to link it any other it is). I had to say something about it.
I am the mother of a survivor of molestation. T was molested at age 5 one time by a neighbor boy (young teenager at the time). It was a five minute time period when he was out of my site, and an awful thing happened. Fourtunately, it wasn't as awful as it could have been. Fourtunately, I noticed that he was no longer in our backyard.

What I wanted to say, what has been bugging me since reading the comments to tracey's blog, is this...I don't feel sorry for the molestor. I don't care if he (or she) is tagged with a lifelong label. Guess what?! My family is forever changed because my son was molested.

I did the right thing, when I found out what happened. I went to the Sherriff's department, filed a report. I got counseling for my son, I went to the interview with the DA. I did all of the right things. T did all of the right things. He told the truth. To the deputy, to the DA, to his counselor. We have prayed for help in forgiving the molestor. We have done all the things that you can do when something horrible like this touches you.

We are different, because of a five minute period of time, in June 2000. We will never be the same. My son had a piece of his soul murdered. He wasn't raped (Praise the Lord), he was violated. His trust in himself and other people was taken.
The registry is just an eye opener. It is a tool. It may or may not save a child from being victimized. But, it is only a tool. I check that darn registry obsessively. I run my children's coaches, dance teachers, guitar teachers, anyone who has contact with my child...because, all it took for us was five minutes of me not knowing...I know, especially based on our experience, that it happens, no matter how careful you are. But, at least I am informed.

Seven years down the road, we still battle the monster called molestation. It has placed it's ugly stamp on my son's heart. He will constantly feel different, because of what was taken from him. But, he is a survivor. He is not a victim. He survived. He forgives daily. He forgives the molestor. He forgives me. He forgives his dad. Mostly, he forgives himself. Even though we have told him from the beginning that this wasn't his fault, he blames himself. He has to forgive himself, he has to tell himself that he is good enough. Five minutes robbed him of so much. Five minutes broke his heart into a million pieces. Pieces I and My One Tru Love are constantly trying to pick up and put back together.

My son is so much more than what happened to him. He is talented. He is tender hearted. He is a hero (Trish, we can leave that for another post). He is a big brother. He is loving. He is forgiving. He can conquer anything.

I'm tired of being told that I should feel badly for the bad choices people make. I'm tired of hearing that more money needs to be poured into rehab/counseling for offenders. I want to see real consequences. I'm a bit biased...our monster never paid. He never felt real consequences. Maybe that is something I need to let go, and forgive, and move on...but I want to see that there is a consequence for evil.