Over the last week or so, I have become a bit lazy. Lazy about spending time with the kids...just stick a movie on and tell them to leave me alone...Wednesday on Cafe Mom in one of the groups I'm in I read a post from the mom of a 17 year old boy. He is a "punk" and according to her can have mouth on him...He had been shot twice and beaten with baseball bats and the butts of the guns used to shoot him. His friend was killed in the attack. He came out with a through and through bullet wound to the chest and a bullet fragment in his lung. A broken femur, elbow, jaw, ribs and skull. He has already endured two surgeries and is looking forward to more. Wow.
Then, today as I was browsing blogs, I came across one, a mom who lost her daughter earlier this week, to drowning. My heart breaks. Then, this morning at church the pastor talked of a friend who had recently lost a 10 year old son to cancer.
Oh, how I take for granted my children. I forget constantly how important they are to me. When life starts to just take over and the frustrations and idiosycracies of each of them surface, you forget. At least I do. I don't want to forget. Life is so precious. So fragile. It's just so easy to forget.
I look at my children, and I am filled with such a powerful feeling of wanting to protect and hold them forever. They just keep getting older and bigger and more independent. I know that is what's supposed to happen, but sometimes I just want to freeze the moment. Freeze the day. Let me remember always the moment and never forget.
My heart breaks for the mothers who have lost their children. It is so wrong for a parent to ever have to bury a child. And this week has reminded me to grasp those moments. To freeze those days in my heart. I can sleep anytime, when my almost 13 year old wants to talk to me it is that moment that is of vital importance. The day will come all too soon when R won't want me to kiss her goodnight, T won't want to be tucked in, C won't fit on my lap, M won't want to hang with me and tell me his crazy imagination stories. I'll be left with memories of my babies. I am choosing to savor those moments. Life is just too short. Especially the moments with my children.
Sentimental me. I'm closing now, I am going to seize the moment that my boys want me to swim with them. I'll let my mascara run, and not care. I'll get my hair wet and not worry about how the chlorine is drying it out. I'll wear my swimsuit and not nitpick about the stretch marks on my thighs or the cellulite. Because, really my boys don't care about that. They care that their mom is swimming with them. Tonight, I will hug their tired little bodies to mine and kiss them each a few extra times as I tuck them into bed. Because, those are the moments...
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
The Story of Our Lives...
OK. Let me tell you that nothing ever goes as we plan. We planned a lovely family camping trip and were excited beyond measure (My One Tru Love and I anyway) about it. Wednesday I had to host Bunco, so I spent the day cooking and getting ready for that...buying alcohol, you know the basics. I didn't get home until after 11 pm. We decided to sleep in on Thursday and do the shopping first thing when we woke up. No rush...just enjoy the day.
We woke up Thursday morning at around 8. We took our showers and headed out to the store. I decided to take the cell phone I've been using (R's) and leave his at home to charge. We spent a nice time shopping at Walmart, Costco, and Winco. We even went out to coffee...just the two of us. It was nice. Well, I didn't realize that R's cell phone had died while we were shopping. We got home to cries of "Why wouldn't you answer your cell phone?! I think C broke his arm!! Dan called and your tool box is munched!" WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? First, checked C's arm, that was OK. Don't really know what the problem originally was, but the arm was not broken, bruised, bleeding or otherwise needing attention. My One Tru Love called Dan to find out the scoop on his tool box. Sidenote: My One Tru Love is a mechanic. His tools make the money we live on. Therefore his tool box is very important to us. Dan informed him that the dealership was broken into and all of the mechanics toolboxes were broken into and tools were stolen! Not good news before we leave on vacation. My One Tru Love went from 0 to pissed off in nothing flat. He told me to run the last few errands, jumped in the car and tore off towards work (20 minutes away) to investigate the damage. He called me after he got there and told me that he had lost about $5,000 worth of tools, and that his toolbox is destroyed...at least the top 5 drawers. He was going to talk to the service manager to figure out what was happening then he'd be home, but it would take about 2 hours to try to inventory the stolen tools. I packed as best I could, worried beyond belief about this new situation.
We finally got out of town at around 4 pm. We arrived at the campground at around 6 pm, to find out that the trip we thought would cost only $79 was going to cost us $135! Yes, $135 to camp for three nights! Crazy! We paid it...hoping for the best. We found our campesite, not what we were expecting, but we made the best. We went looking for the flush toilets...yeah, there were two flush toilets, by the store, 1 mile from our campsite. So we investigated the shower situation, same situation, except there were four showers. Did I mention that there are around 300+ campsites? The rest of the "facilities" were glorified port-a-potties, you know chemical toilets. Worse than pit toilets in my humble opinion. My exuberance by this point had waned to almost non existent. We spent a nice evening by the campfire, and looked forward to taking the boat out on the lake the following day. Which we did, and enjoyed swimming, fishing, and the kids tubed. It was a nice day, and we all got a little sunburned in spite of the sunscreen. We also got neighbors while we were on the lake, they seemed OK. Boy, were we wrong. At around 8 pm C was exhausted, so I took him over to the tent to go to sleep, and he said "What is that horrible smell?" POT!!!!! Yes. Weed. Hash. Mary Jane. Crazy grass. Whatever you want to call it. He ended up going to sleep at around 9:30. Our partying neighbors didn't call it quits until 3 am!!!!! We decided when we were awakened by their children (Yes, pot and kids....) at 7 am that we were going to go on the lake for a few hours, then break camp and check out early. Get the heck out of there. We were exhausted and thoroughly disgusted! We had a nice morning on the lake, and we broke camp and checked out taking the time to let them know why we were leaving early. I was hoping that our complaint would be met with a little action. Indifference. We left without any satisfaction.
When we got home we decided to have a munchy movie night, and just relaxed. That part was really nice.
Today, My One Tru Love and I went to the dealership to finish inventory of his missing tools. Then, we had to look up part numbers and prices for the insurance company. Tomorrow he'll turn it in, and he was just about right on, so far we are at about $4,500 in stolen tools. Ugh.
Like I said, the story of our lives...you should hear the one about our wedding and honeymoon...now that's a story...
We woke up Thursday morning at around 8. We took our showers and headed out to the store. I decided to take the cell phone I've been using (R's) and leave his at home to charge. We spent a nice time shopping at Walmart, Costco, and Winco. We even went out to coffee...just the two of us. It was nice. Well, I didn't realize that R's cell phone had died while we were shopping. We got home to cries of "Why wouldn't you answer your cell phone?! I think C broke his arm!! Dan called and your tool box is munched!" WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? First, checked C's arm, that was OK. Don't really know what the problem originally was, but the arm was not broken, bruised, bleeding or otherwise needing attention. My One Tru Love called Dan to find out the scoop on his tool box. Sidenote: My One Tru Love is a mechanic. His tools make the money we live on. Therefore his tool box is very important to us. Dan informed him that the dealership was broken into and all of the mechanics toolboxes were broken into and tools were stolen! Not good news before we leave on vacation. My One Tru Love went from 0 to pissed off in nothing flat. He told me to run the last few errands, jumped in the car and tore off towards work (20 minutes away) to investigate the damage. He called me after he got there and told me that he had lost about $5,000 worth of tools, and that his toolbox is destroyed...at least the top 5 drawers. He was going to talk to the service manager to figure out what was happening then he'd be home, but it would take about 2 hours to try to inventory the stolen tools. I packed as best I could, worried beyond belief about this new situation.
We finally got out of town at around 4 pm. We arrived at the campground at around 6 pm, to find out that the trip we thought would cost only $79 was going to cost us $135! Yes, $135 to camp for three nights! Crazy! We paid it...hoping for the best. We found our campesite, not what we were expecting, but we made the best. We went looking for the flush toilets...yeah, there were two flush toilets, by the store, 1 mile from our campsite. So we investigated the shower situation, same situation, except there were four showers. Did I mention that there are around 300+ campsites? The rest of the "facilities" were glorified port-a-potties, you know chemical toilets. Worse than pit toilets in my humble opinion. My exuberance by this point had waned to almost non existent. We spent a nice evening by the campfire, and looked forward to taking the boat out on the lake the following day. Which we did, and enjoyed swimming, fishing, and the kids tubed. It was a nice day, and we all got a little sunburned in spite of the sunscreen. We also got neighbors while we were on the lake, they seemed OK. Boy, were we wrong. At around 8 pm C was exhausted, so I took him over to the tent to go to sleep, and he said "What is that horrible smell?" POT!!!!! Yes. Weed. Hash. Mary Jane. Crazy grass. Whatever you want to call it. He ended up going to sleep at around 9:30. Our partying neighbors didn't call it quits until 3 am!!!!! We decided when we were awakened by their children (Yes, pot and kids....) at 7 am that we were going to go on the lake for a few hours, then break camp and check out early. Get the heck out of there. We were exhausted and thoroughly disgusted! We had a nice morning on the lake, and we broke camp and checked out taking the time to let them know why we were leaving early. I was hoping that our complaint would be met with a little action. Indifference. We left without any satisfaction.
When we got home we decided to have a munchy movie night, and just relaxed. That part was really nice.
Today, My One Tru Love and I went to the dealership to finish inventory of his missing tools. Then, we had to look up part numbers and prices for the insurance company. Tomorrow he'll turn it in, and he was just about right on, so far we are at about $4,500 in stolen tools. Ugh.
Like I said, the story of our lives...you should hear the one about our wedding and honeymoon...now that's a story...
Saturday, July 7, 2007
"I HATE family camping..."
This is the note I woke to this morning. From my lovely daughter. We are planning a relaxing four day camping trip at Collins Lake. We are taking the boat and hanging out at the swimming beach, fishing, swimming, being a family of 6. We decided that our additional "adopted" children are not invited to this trip, as it is our FAMILY camping trip. Lovely R wants her best friend to come, and has commenced strategies to try to break us down. At 10 pm she came into our room to essentially ask (for the 3rd time) if A could come with us. We both said no, and she started to tell us how she wasn't going then, and that we were being mean because she would be bored to death. Oh, like I never said that when I was 14. Anyway, she continued to whine and complain, and we sent her out. Then, stupid stupid stupid us, we started to discuss whether we were right in making this a family trip. Because of her darn whining.
I expect that the next few days will be hell because she will beg, plead and whine every chance she gets. Her note said, "I HATE family camping. I would rather go to Weed for Carnivalli or have A come with us." A will be with her grandparents in Weed if she can't come with us. So, I guess she will be in Weed. And R is not going to Carnivalli in Weed, because she will be family camping, which she hates.
As for the family camping trip, I am looking forward to it. I enjoy camping, when there are flush toilets. The campground we are going to is a little pricey, but, I feel like it's worth it. Because of the private lake we will have full access to. We are planning a day on the lake on the boat. The other full day we will spend just lounging around at the beach, and relaxing. The other two days we will be there will be arrival and departure days, those are never relaxing. At any rate, I am looking forward to it, as are the boys and My One Tru Love. I am planning on making a trip to the local used book store to stock up on some books for R and me, and then I will be making a trip to the comic book store for the boys. I really want to just be with the family for a few days. R is so rarely around these days, she's always off at a friend's house, or the mall, or the movies, or Farmer's Market. Or, she has a friend over and is holed up in her room. We have so little time left with the 6 of us all together. I am holding fast to this decision, but, I can see that it will not be without repercussions. Oh, well, I will live, and maybe she actually will have a good time.
I expect that the next few days will be hell because she will beg, plead and whine every chance she gets. Her note said, "I HATE family camping. I would rather go to Weed for Carnivalli or have A come with us." A will be with her grandparents in Weed if she can't come with us. So, I guess she will be in Weed. And R is not going to Carnivalli in Weed, because she will be family camping, which she hates.
As for the family camping trip, I am looking forward to it. I enjoy camping, when there are flush toilets. The campground we are going to is a little pricey, but, I feel like it's worth it. Because of the private lake we will have full access to. We are planning a day on the lake on the boat. The other full day we will spend just lounging around at the beach, and relaxing. The other two days we will be there will be arrival and departure days, those are never relaxing. At any rate, I am looking forward to it, as are the boys and My One Tru Love. I am planning on making a trip to the local used book store to stock up on some books for R and me, and then I will be making a trip to the comic book store for the boys. I really want to just be with the family for a few days. R is so rarely around these days, she's always off at a friend's house, or the mall, or the movies, or Farmer's Market. Or, she has a friend over and is holed up in her room. We have so little time left with the 6 of us all together. I am holding fast to this decision, but, I can see that it will not be without repercussions. Oh, well, I will live, and maybe she actually will have a good time.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Sleepover
My darling daughter finally succeeded in getting me to allow her to have a sleepover with the Fab 5 (the name of her and her 4 best friends). I have resisted and resisted up until now. My One Tru Love and the boys went out of town for the weekend, so she begged, pleaded and cajoled me into letting them all come over for a sleepover.
Fortunately, she is a good girl, so I didn't need to worry too much about sneaking out and boys and such. But, they giggled and talked and made popcorn until about 4 am. I fell asleep and was awakened by the microwave beeping. As I type, they just got up and are enjoying a breakfast of bagels and english muffins. They are absolutely great girls.
Last night we had Alfredo pasta with chicken and salad and bread. They used the green cut crystal goblets to drink their pink lemonade. I put a little effort into this sleepover, since more than likely they will be few and far between. My One Tru Love maxes out at one extra kid in the house. I don't mind the excitement. But, he gets a little crazy. So, I restricted any overnight activity to his away times. I expect him home sometime this afternoon, and I have a feeling that I will still have the Fab 5 here.
I just got sidetracked. The Fab 5 were playing army guys at the table and milk got spilled. Don't ask. These girls are so fun. They are in no hurry to grow up. They are just enjoying being were they are. I am so glad that R found these girls to hang out with.
All in all, my relaxing weeekend ended up not being so relaxing. I ended up beginning my Friday evening by cleanning the bathroom, and then moving on into the kitchen. I had to get the laundry done, and the house spick and span for the Fab 5. I spent the entire day Saturday doing that. I had to run to the store and Blockbuster for last minute food and movies. I didn't get into the shower until about 3 pm. The girls got here at 3:15. Yes, I was still naked, and wet...it was quite an experience. Anyway, then I spent the evening cooking for the girls and then I was banished to my room, they got the living room. Oh, to have a house with a family room. Then, I listened to them most of the night, earplugs at 3:45 and then I woke with my darn internal clock at 7:15. Then I tried to keep M quiet for the morning, so that the girls could sleep. Any way, that is the brief overview of my relaxing weekend.
I think I'll go to the pool today and really relax, after the fabulousness leaves my house.
Fortunately, she is a good girl, so I didn't need to worry too much about sneaking out and boys and such. But, they giggled and talked and made popcorn until about 4 am. I fell asleep and was awakened by the microwave beeping. As I type, they just got up and are enjoying a breakfast of bagels and english muffins. They are absolutely great girls.
Last night we had Alfredo pasta with chicken and salad and bread. They used the green cut crystal goblets to drink their pink lemonade. I put a little effort into this sleepover, since more than likely they will be few and far between. My One Tru Love maxes out at one extra kid in the house. I don't mind the excitement. But, he gets a little crazy. So, I restricted any overnight activity to his away times. I expect him home sometime this afternoon, and I have a feeling that I will still have the Fab 5 here.
I just got sidetracked. The Fab 5 were playing army guys at the table and milk got spilled. Don't ask. These girls are so fun. They are in no hurry to grow up. They are just enjoying being were they are. I am so glad that R found these girls to hang out with.
All in all, my relaxing weeekend ended up not being so relaxing. I ended up beginning my Friday evening by cleanning the bathroom, and then moving on into the kitchen. I had to get the laundry done, and the house spick and span for the Fab 5. I spent the entire day Saturday doing that. I had to run to the store and Blockbuster for last minute food and movies. I didn't get into the shower until about 3 pm. The girls got here at 3:15. Yes, I was still naked, and wet...it was quite an experience. Anyway, then I spent the evening cooking for the girls and then I was banished to my room, they got the living room. Oh, to have a house with a family room. Then, I listened to them most of the night, earplugs at 3:45 and then I woke with my darn internal clock at 7:15. Then I tried to keep M quiet for the morning, so that the girls could sleep. Any way, that is the brief overview of my relaxing weekend.
I think I'll go to the pool today and really relax, after the fabulousness leaves my house.
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