Ramblings of Confusion

Sometimes I really wonder if I am doing a good job at this parent thing. Now is one of those times.
This morning, on the way to school, my boys got into a fight in the backseat. This is not where I feel like a poor candidate for parenthood. I realize that I have three boys and they will fight. But, the thing they chose to fight about, the last piece of gum, was really ridiculous, to say the least. C was mad that T took the last piece of gum. C proceeded to throw a fit and decided to tear up paper. T decided that this was somehow cause to start WWIII. T started to hit C on the head, C started to try to claw back and nex thing I hear is a POP! and C is in breath intake mode crying and not breathing. T punched C full on in the nose. When C experiences pain in great amounts, he stops breathing. He has done this since he was a baby and got his first shots. Unexpected, intense pain causes that infant like reaction where he breathes in and loses his breath. When C reacts this way it is the sure sign that he is really hurt. We arrived at the house where we pick up our carpool girl, and R went in and got ice for C. By this time, C's nose is swelling and his left eye is starting to get black in the corner. I got really angry. I don't even know how to put it into words. I have warned T over and over and over that his anger and acting out in anger is only going to hurt someone and the consequences for him may be too great. I dropped T and M off at school and drove around the corner with C who was beginning to cry uncontrollably. This is so unlike C, that I knew that he was hurting (physically and probably a bit emotionally too). He ended up being the kitchen helper at school today all day. He had a substitute and was beyond upset even 30 minutes after the incident.
This is where I feel like parenthood is more than I should be allowed to handle. I honestly have no clue what the consequences for this should be. I am so frustrated. I am no longer angry, which is a good thing. But, I really don't know what to do. I am waiting, as I write for My One Tru Love to get home so we can further discuss this. I called him at work to give him a heads up of what we were going to have to deal with tonight, and his response was that this was big and the consequences should be big. I agree whole heartedly.
There have been apologies and forgiveness doled out. But, still, the consequences remain. As I write this, the three boys are getting along beautifully. If this morning hadn't have happened I would feel like I should be a candidate for Mother of the Year. But, right now, I just feel like it is the calm before yet another storm. Living with a 12 year old boy is becoming quite difficult. I have talked to my friends who have lived through this stage with their own boys, and have been told that this is a most difficult time. That this too will pass. But, I just feel so unequipped and ineffectual. I don't know.
I guess most of parenthood is hit and miss. You just do the best you can. I understand that, but I feel so....dumb right now.
Part of the point of this blog was to help me see the quirky, funny, proud moments of my day. To appreciate my children that much more. I just feel so overwhelmed with the whole job right now. Does that mean I am a good parent? Or a loser parent?