A Little Sentimental

I'm beginning to get a bit sentimental. Tomorrow is the last day of school. My beautiful R will be graduating from the eighth grade. My T is going into the eighth grade, C going into the fifth grade and my baby, M going into the second grade. It seems like those endless baby and toddler years where just too darn short. I look at my friends who have little ones and I miss those years so much. I can't believe that I lived through them. Believe me it was hard having three kids under three, and I did daycare then too! It was craziness. But, I lived through it and would give my left arm to be there for just a few minutes again.
R has a boyfriend, which is another milestone I am thoroughly unprepared for. She is just too young. She's 14 1/2 years old! She needs to still be playing with baby dolls and Barbie dolls. It seems like yesterday when she told me everything, and thought that I could really help solve her problems. Now, I'm lucky if she fills me in on the basic details. I ask alot of questions, but she is the queen of one word answers. She's beautiful, gracious, smart, she is everything that makes me proud. I am just about to cry just thinking that she is almost a woman. She is a young woman and no longer a little girl. She, of course, will always be that little girl with her pacifier in her mouth and carrying around that old silky nightgown of mine, to me. But, she is just amazing and I marvel at her still.
I am relieved that the school year is ending though. It has been an overwhelming year for me. I don't know exactly why, but it has been. Tomorrow, I say good bye for the summer to my colleagues and to my kids. I really love all of the kids at our school. I will miss them.
There is a little guy in my first grade class, who undoubtedly will make me cry tomorrow. He has been hugging me everyday and telling me that he is going to miss me next year. He can be a stinker (what boy can't?) but boy is he a sweetie. I will really miss him if he isn't in the second grade class I work in next year. I keep telling him that I'll see him on the playground next year. But, I know it won't be the same!
Goodness gracious, I am getting that darn lump in my throat already. I can't help it.
I'll never have a first grader again. Boy, that really makes the lump bigger. I just can't believe how fast life flies. I have tried to savor all of the moments. But, honestly, there just aren't enough moments. Okay, here I go...the tears are coming.
I never knew that the love I would feel for these four little hearts would be so deep that it would actually cause me to hurt. I love them, I want them to stay my babies forever. They just keep growing up so fast. I just can't even put it into words, the love, the pride, the intensity I feel for the little lives I've been entrusted.